黑五将至，看点笑话再考虑剁手吧

Black Friday is around the corner, and there aren’t many console companies offering discount information right now. They’re all holding back big deals. Anyway, no one will take the information seriously anyway. Just watch some jokes, relax, and prepare for the Black Friday sales.

These are all carefully selected jokes by us.

1. Male: "We don't want children after we get married. I really want to adopt one!"

Woman: "How about I go have a baby with someone else and we can raise it together!"

male. . .

Woman: "You can accept that it's not both of ours, why can't you accept that half of it is mine!"

male! @#! @#￥@#￥%@#￥

2. I was walking with my girlfriend, and there was a slight drizzle. I said: It’s raining, and it’s hitting my face.

Girlfriend: Why don’t I feel it?

Me: That’s because you put on too much makeup.

3. One day I suddenly received a call from a female customer: What exactly does your insurance cover?

Answer: It covers accidents.

Her: Is there compensation for accidental pregnancy?

I replied to her: Is there a scene?

Beep beep beep beep. . . She died. . .

4. Girlfriend: “Husband, have you suddenly noticed that I’ve been a little sexy lately?”

Me: "No. I find it often, not suddenly..."

5. Male: I like you, please be my girlfriend

Female: To handsome people, it’s confession, but to you, it’s sexual harassment!

Man: That’s wrong. To a beautiful woman, that’s sexual harassment, but to you, it’s definitely true love!

Snapped. . .

6. My name is Jiang Tao. I recently changed my job and introduced myself during the meeting.

"Hello everyone, my name is Jiang Tao. Jiang means three points of water, a worker, and Tao means three points of water, a longevity. Please give me some advice."

Several little girls in the audience laughed like crazy. They laughed and said, "Three drops of water are used to attack, and three drops of water are used to receive. You can both attack and receive..."

Then my nickname is "Body of both offense and defense". . .

Now I am looking at new job postings and am ready to change jobs!

7. My wife has done something wrong and refuses to repent. I can’t help but use my hands. Sometimes I really can’t do it without fighting. . .

No, after more than a dozen slaps, she touched my red and swollen face and said distressedly: "Stop hitting me. I know it's wrong. Isn't that okay?"

I smiled coldly and said: "I forgive you this time, but next time I will fight to death. Don't say I didn't remind you..."

8. I recently met a famous Chinese medicine doctor and chatted with him. He suggested to me: In the future, you should exercise more, don’t buy drinks, don’t drink beer, let alone red wine, drink more boiled water, don’t drive, don’t take a taxi, and take the bus instead. Or walk, don’t eat out, try to be vegetarian and eat less meat, especially seafood!

I nodded and asked him, what's wrong with me?

He said: Your income is too low!

9. I went to a train station fast food restaurant to eat. After getting the food, I asked why the food was so small.

The waiter said that it was too much to finish and it was a waste. I said that with my physique, I could finish three more portions.

The waiter said you should eat first and give me more when you're done.

As a result, I really couldn’t finish it, it was so damn unpalatable.

10. After I had just settled all the items in my girlfriend’s shopping cart, my girlfriend immediately changed her password and then told me on WeChat that we wanted to break up! When I asked why, she actually replied that my typing was ugly. . .

11. My wife is a very good housekeeper. The night before Double Eleven, she went to bed early after dinner in order to keep the family together. However, she still hasn’t woken up from her sleep. I can’t help but worry that I have taken too many sleeping pills. ?

12. Suddenly I remembered that my original intention of learning online shopping was to save money, and I burst into tears and burst into tears. . .

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