It’s Halloween, and Black Friday is coming soon. Let’s calm down with some jokes.

The son clamored for a mobile phone from his mother, so the mother bought an iPhone herself and gave the old Samsung to her son. The son did not want the old phone.

My mother got angry and scolded: "For you, I spent more than 6,000 yuan to buy a new mobile phone. Why are you dissatisfied?"

son. . .

I went back to my hometown in Northeast China to visit my grandma. I chatted with her while watching TV on the kang. Since I had just started working and was far away from home, my grandma kept asking me questions.

Grandma: My child, do you understand life?

Here. . .

Grandma: Do you understand?

Me: I didn’t really understand it before, but now that I’m working this year, I understand a lot.

Grandma: Then go ahead and light the stove. It’s a bit cold and I don’t want to move!

When I got into a Didi car, the driver complained to me and told me that he didn't offend anyone. Why did he get 4 stars and the star rating was downgraded? It was really depressing.

I also said it’s impossible and I will give you a 5-star rating later.

Then the driver said: Little girl, you are so kind! It's so late to go to work!

Then I finally found out why this SB master always gets 4 stars.

There are two things in the world that are most inappropriate to look back on: one is a photo of your ex, and the other is the current price of something you have already bought.

I used to watch Westward Journey starring Star Master, and I really wanted Wukong to ride on the colorful auspicious clouds to marry Zixia. Today, when I watched Dahua 3 played by Han Geng and Tang Yan, I just wanted Wukong to ride on the colorful auspicious clouds to take Zixia's life.

What's going on with these softwares now? When downloading, you formed a gang with four or five brothers. When I deleted the software, why didn't you bring your brothers with you? You can share the blessings, but you can't share the troubles? Rubbish!

Lippi is a legendary coach who once coached a team that no one could beat;

Now he comes to China and once again coaches a team that no one can beat.

It's okay to brainwash my eight-year-old nephew: "When you grow up, when you look for a wife, you will look for someone like your aunt, do you understand?"

The nephew nodded obediently, and then said reluctantly: "But aunt, I still like good-looking people."

My boyfriend is not very good-looking, but he is very attentive and very kind to me. Today he took me back to his house for the first time.

His family was not very enthusiastic towards me. After dinner in the evening, they sat in the living room and watched TV. When my boyfriend went to use the bathroom, my boyfriend's father asked me secretly: "Girl, how much does it cost to rent for a day?"

The most awesome person I’ve ever seen was a cyclist scolding a truck driver: “You’re looking for death!”

Psychologist: Your problem is that you are a bit competitive, but it doesn’t matter. I was similar to you when I was young.

Patient: Impossible, you are certainly not as competitive as me.

I fell in love with a very tight hip-hugging skirt and asked my best friend if it looked good.

My best friend said: "This kind of clothes is suitable for rich people, not for poor people like you."

I really regret that I was too willful and didn't listen to my best friend and bought a skirt. Now I always jump on the bus.

I told my wife that conflicts between husband and wife cannot be solved by fighting. We must learn to reason. Now my wife doesn't hit me anymore and always asks me to kneel down and listen to her reason. . .

Some women on the Internet said that when they get tired of playing, they should find an honest man to marry. Haha, I am really speechless. . . I can't wait until they get tired of playing.

My wife was going on a business trip for a few days, and I said to her affectionately: Wife, I promise you not to be a philanderer, to take good care of yourself, to go to bed on time, and to call you every day. . . Just promise not to come back early!

I read in a magazine that poor relatives are scary and clingy. I told my father that our family is really nice and we don’t have poor relatives!

The father was silent for a while and said: Our family is poor relatives of other people’s families!

Young man: "Master, why do I still know nothing after four years of college?"

Master: "Did you see the small hole in the wall that was penetrated by water drops?"

Young man: "Are you saying that if you persist and persevere, you will make great progress one day?"

Master: "You are a trap!"

Recommended site search: mobile proxy ip, apply for free space and domain name, mobile proxy ip, godaddy space, dual-line space, how to buy virtual host, server rental, server rental, 6 yuan a year cloud server, registration space,