I don’t know what to update, so here’s some jokes. Have fun.

When I was cleaning, I found my husband's personal money. I was embarrassed to have it confiscated by him, so I took off the bracelet on my hand and put it with his personal money.

I ran to tell my husband that I couldn’t find the bracelet and asked him to help me find it. Not long after, my husband came over with the bracelet and the private money: "Honey, I found the bracelet. Can you see if you dropped the money together?"

Today's thieves are becoming more and more kind. Today I was eating in a restaurant and when I was paying the bill, I found that my wallet and mobile phone were missing. . .

I told my boss that I would pay tomorrow, and the boss told me: Someone just paid for you. . .

When men go shopping, they will find what they need; when women go shopping, they will find what they need!

Due to an operation error, I liked my ex's circle of friends. After a while, he sent a message: I didn't expect that you are still following me. I am free this afternoon, do you want to make an appointment?

After reading it, I was so moved that I silently took a screenshot and sent it to his current girlfriend. .

A drop in the bucket: an expression of high income. In the time it takes to drink a glass of water, your salary is enough to buy a car.

Being dazzled in the first marriage: refers to the lack of experience in the first marriage and the dazzling choice of the wrong person.

"Love at first sight" is the love at first sight version of "Let's be friends!"

"We met so late" is the literary version of "Why the hell did you come here just now!"

Husband: “Why do we men have to hand over our wages to you women?”

Wife: “I’m not afraid that you men will go out and hang out with your salary.”

Husband: "Then we men are still afraid that you women will go out and hang out with your salary."

Wife: “If we women want to go out and have sex, do we still need a salary?”

This is how my wife talks to her husband: Please pat your conscience and tell me, have I been bad to you over the years?

Every time you do housework, I'm afraid you'll be bored, so I'll lie on the sand and crack melon seeds to accompany you.

Every time I go out, I am afraid that you will walk slowly, so I ask you to carry me on your back.

Every time you make a mistake, I am afraid that you will kneel on the washboard because it is too hard, so I will make you kneel on the instant noodles.

Are you saying I'm not good to you? I know you are drifting and tired now. I tell you that it will be fine if you get used to it. I am also very tired, you know?

My writing level was finally recognized by my Chinese teacher. Three years ago, he commented on me as "moaning for no reason".

Three years later, I showed him my newly written work. After reading it, he said to me with concern: "You must be sick."

Last night I made an appointment for courier to pick up the package and ordered breakfast. However, I was too sleepy this morning and didn't hear my call for takeout, so they left it on the window sill at the door. Later, the courier came to pick up the package and sent it away.

Today I went to get a haircut, wash, cut and blow-dry, perm and dye my hair. I had a haircut, blowjob, and when I checked out, I discovered that I was charged 668. . .

I refused, and the manager, who was 1.95 meters tall, came out and patiently explained to me: Look, when you washed your hair just now, did the water feel very hot? ? ?

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