Don’t buy a VPS anymore. Let’s watch some jokes and relax.

In the morning, I went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables. I asked the hawker: "Have your vegetables been treated with pesticides?" The hawker thought for a while and said, "I guess not."

I was playing a hand-slapping game with a female colleague, and I accidentally grabbed her hand and scratched a little bit of the skin. Then the female colleague took out her phone with a serious look on her face. Just when I thought she was going to take a photo and post it on WeChat to accuse me... I saw She searched online: Do I need a rabies vaccine if I am caught by a single dog?

I found a fortune teller to tell me my fortune. He looked at it and said, "Brother, you must have been born in the early morning." I was very surprised: "How did you calculate so accurately?" He stroked his beard. Said: "Because one to three o'clock in the morning is the ugly time."

On the bus, I suddenly felt someone touching my buttocks. When I turned around, I saw two beautiful girls. One of them smiled sweetly at me when she saw me. I smiled back immediately, feeling happy in my heart.

At this time, I heard another sister say: Sister, can you get rid of the bad habit of wiping your nose everywhere.

My brother works as a supervisor in a company and earns a monthly salary of 20,000. But every penny of the salary has to be given to my sister-in-law, and my brother only has 500 yuan a month for living expenses.

Today my brother asked his sister-in-law for pocket money and wanted to buy a Chinese cigarette.

My sister-in-law said: Husband, it’s almost 618 and all products will be discounted, the lowest is only 50% off.

Brother: What happened to 618? I don’t shop online either.

Sister-in-law: I just want to say that everything is discounted during 618, so your pocket money is also 50% off.

Ah Ju was about to take an exam, and his mother asked Ah Ju if he had finished reading the book. Ah Ju said, "I've finished reading it." The next day, when her mother saw Ah Ju's failed paper, she was furious, "Why did you do so poorly on the test after you've read all the books!" Ah Ju: "Mom, what I said that day was... I think it’s over.”

An IAEA investigator picked up a fish in the waters off Fukushima and asked Japanese officials: "Can you ensure that the fish here meet radiation standards?"

"It's guaranteed," the Japanese official said.

"It's guaranteed," said the fish.

"Dad, I saw someone on the Internet saying that Japan used to discharge nuclear wastewater into the sea, which caused many humans to mutate. Is this true?"

"Don't listen to the nonsense on the Internet, Yui. These are things that don't exist at all. Our textbooks say these things don't exist." Dad said lovingly, stroking the antennae on Yui's head.

A Japanese gathered the Dragon Balls and summoned the dragon.

Shenlong looked down at him: "Say one of your wishes and I can grant it to you."

"I want everything in this world to belong to me." The Japanese said, shaking his ears excitedly.

"This is too difficult, let's change it." Shenlong replied.

"Then let Japan return to life before the discharge of nuclear wastewater." The Japanese thought for a while and said.

Shenlong looked troubled: "Let's exchange for the first wish." After saying that, he turned into a Korean.

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