Black Friday has just passed, so there’s not much to update, so I’ll post jokes as usual.

1

Go to a food stall for a late-night snack. I ordered a bowl of Jinfen and sat there eating in silence.

Suddenly a young man next to the table shouted: Boss! What I ordered was sheep tripe casserole. What did you serve here? Haggis, so damn disgusting, is it for human consumption?

And then the guy at the other table got mad because he happened to be eating fucking haggis casserole.

So they started to curse.

Then they started fighting.

so amazing.

Seeing this made me feel very excited, quite high. Suddenly I realized that although there is no beauty in this XXGB life, there is still pleasure from time to time.

Thinking of this, I have the urge to cry happily in the wind.

But then the two men fought even more fiercely.

The diners present fled one after another, and many of them did not pay.

I feel extremely chilled by this. This kind of taking advantage of the situation is so shameful and incompetent. I can’t help but feel sad for this country and feel desolate in my heart.

I was so sad that I even forgot to pay for the meal and left silently.

2

Suddenly I remembered that the last time I went clubbing was three years ago, but it seemed like yesterday. Time was flowing so fast.

I also met a girl named Di when I was clubbing, and she enthusiastically asked me to leave my number.

But this phone number cannot be given to a young lady casually.

I heard that last time a young lady in Jiaxing was caught by the police uncle, and then she used her mobile phone to send text messages and arrested all the guests in the address book for interrogation.

So in the end I gave her the mobile phone number of my classmate Datou.

3

I remember when I was a kid, I could be rewarded with a small red flower if I picked up gold.

If you collect twelve little red flowers, you can get a small notebook with the school seal, which will be a great honor to take home.

However, money is not so easy to find.

Therefore, if I pick up 5 cents, I have to exchange it for 1 cent and pay it in installments.

It’s not easy, the competition is too fierce. In the end, I had to pay for it myself, throw it on the ground, then pick it up and hand it in. How great.

Every year flows like water, and so many opportunities for puppy love are wasted on trying to please the teacher.

Finally, when I was in fifth grade, a little girl wrote me a love letter, but I took it and gave it to the teacher.

555. . . . I am a pig. . . . Let me die. . . . . Don't even stop me. . . .

It's so sad.

4

Mr. Datou is a good young man because he once gave me a pack of dried puffer fish.

He said it was delicious when used to stew pork ribs.

Unfortunately, I don't like pork, and it's so expensive.

Datou kindly suggested that I braise dried puffer fish.

So, I Googled Braised Dried Fugu.

Then I saw a news item at the top of the search: "Braised pufferfish poisoned a resident."

Oh, thank you, Big Head!

5

I think back to that year, when I was in college, Da Tou and a girl stayed in a hotel overnight.

Buy a box of Durex from a convenience store. It's ultra-thin and moisturizes your skin silently.

At the right time, we called his room phone.

After getting through, he shouted: "The sky is dry and things are dry, be careful of impotence."

Big Tou cursed, "Oh shit." He hung up.

So I dialed again. . . busy tone. . . . . .

But difficulties can't stop the boring people.

Then he called the front desk and said that the phone number in such-and-such room seemed to be disconnected. Please go check it out.

A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door.

Through the peephole, Datou saw a staff member wearing a large cap and uniform standing at the door.

So, Big Head went crazy.

6

I saw a couple walking towards the hotel gate. The girl looked like a fairy, but the guy had an unprecedented face. An impulse to rush over and beat him up hit my heart in waves. But I suppressed it tightly. It is said that beautiful women match ugly men, and it seems this is true.

I can't help but feel sad. It seems that I am destined to have no sexual happiness in this life.

The sky is dark.

7

In the company, my colleagues usually call me Xiao Li affectionately.

The owner of the hot pot restaurant next door has a local dog, also named Xiao Li.

I made a strong protest to him because this seriously violated my right to name, my human rights, and my right to portrait.

I asked him to change his name to another meaningful name, such as Snoopy, Wangcai and so on. But he refused, saying that dogs are much more specific than people. If they are used to calling a certain name, they will not be able to listen to another one.

So when I stood at the door of the company every day and an acquaintance passed by and called me "Xiao Li", another Xiao Li would respond in unison, and then run over and squat next to me.

I felt like it had ulterior motives and was trying to make fun of me.

This son of a bitch.

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